Being pregnant for the first time was scary. I didn’t know what to expect. I always had the fear that I would die giving birth. I blame the media. They always show women screaming and begging to be knocked over the head with a hammer while giving birth. I just knew it was something that every other pregnant woman could endure except me. Giving birth was one of my biggest fears in life (aside from death) but I conquered it and without drugs!
Lamaze classes weren’t really convenient for me so I went on the Tube and watched countless videos on breathing and visualization techniques. I talked to my Doctor about my fears and that was very helpful too. She told me to visualize the baby moving down the birth canal when I felt the pain so I did that and I tried not to lose my focus. Of course I still felt pain but it helped me connect with the pain in a way that I could understand it and embrace it. It feels like you have to poop a really large poop. They even told me to push as if I was having a bowl movement.
I was in labor for 6 hours of which I did 4 of them at home. It was more comfortable at home where I could walk around and grab onto things when the pain hit. At first I didn’t think I was in labor because I felt my usual excruciating menstrual cramps. Only this time they came and went every 5 or 10 minutes so I could bear it. Oh yeah, my contractions were 10 minutes apart from the beginning. This started at 2am and since I wasn’t sure how bad they were supposed to be, I told my hubby to go to sleep and that I would wake him up when it was time to go to the hospital. Men! He went right to sleep.
Finally after getting through my early labor in the comfort of my own home, I knew it was time to head to the hospital because I saw blood. I walked into the hospital and said, Hi, I’m in labor! all cheerful. I was determined not to have a wild labor. By the time I got there at6:30 I was 8cm dilated and they rushed me up to labor and delivery in a wheelchair.
AT that point I asked how much worse the pain would get and if I could get something if I wanted it. I was told that I was too far along and if I came this far without it I would be fine. I knew that I didn’t want an epidural because I have scoliosis (curve of the spine) and I was not about to have a needle wedged between my vertebrae. So it just worked out that I had a natural birth. If you plan on having a natural birth the key is to labor at home ONLY if you can bear the pain.
There were a few moments when I almost lost my mind though. At one point I grabbed a nurse by the collar, I started talking to myself, and I pushed even though the doc said not to. Don’t do what I did. Because of that I needed stitches. I was feeling the urge to push and I couldn’t hold it anymore. I needed to poop that baby out!
I would do it all over again because I am so thankful for my son. Not everyone can have children and I thank God for allowing me to have this gift.
